


Haven't Met You Yet

by sandymg



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Fantasy, J-Squared, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-28
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:17:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandymg/pseuds/sandymg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an unsettling break-up with his lover, well-known horror writer Jared Padalecki has settled into the quiet and privacy of his new home. Except he's developing an obsession about the visitor in his garden who feels like someone Jared has been waiting for his whole life. Trouble is, the man he wants to meet lives in a world where Jared hasn't even been born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haven't Met You Yet

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is fiction. No harm intended. No profit made.  
> Author's Note: Story title from the Michael Bublé song Haven't Met You Yet. Parts of story inspired by Richard Matheson's Bid Time Return.
> 
> [ **Spanish Translation of Haven't Met You Yet**](http://z13.invisionfree.com/Supernatural_Foro/index.php?showtopic=4934&view=findpost&p=22118392) by Alfer

# Part 1

There hadn’t been a sound. But a flutter of shadow disrupted the sun’s glow along the rose bush where none should have been. Jared’s heart leapt to his throat. There was an intruder in the garden.

He raced down the steps shouting, “Hey!”

The late afternoon sun blinded and he had to blink and whatever had crossed by the trailing roses was gone. “What the--?” He spun around in a circle. A bird chirped overhead and twittered by in a flurry. Way too small to have made him think someone was out here. He’d been certain he’d glimpsed a person. Big. Man-sized.

Jared revolved in a slower circle now. The garden was the reason he bought this house. It was the lushest thing he’d ever seen growing in the city. Nestled in deep red brick that was hatch-crossed by trailing ivies. As fragrant as it was abundant. The former occupants had lovingly nurtured this bit of land behind the narrow corner row house until it formed a secret haven in Hyde Park.

The realtor had pointed out the carefully tended rose bushes, going on about specialty hybrids and such. Jared wasn’t much of a gardener. He just knew how he felt the minute he walked out the kitchen door and his senses came alive. It was more than a backyard. It was an echo of an earlier time.

He walked quickly to the old iron gate and tugged the worn padlock. Still secure. After a moment of staring at the lock in his hand, Jared turned back to follow the weathered flagstones that meandered through the garden back to the house. All was still, and Jared convinced himself he was alone.

Maybe he needed a coffee break. He didn’t often drink any in the afternoon, but given that his eyes were playing tricks on him he figured it couldn’t hurt. He’d been stuck anyway, staring out the window when the blank page on his PC’s monitor had begun to mock him. Not like the book was going anywhere. Perhaps he should bring his laptop out into the garden instead? But it was so bright the reflective glare would destroy his eyes. They really needed to create a laptop with that non-glare screen his Kindle had.

One mug of hazelnut coffee in hand, he settled on the small iron settee against the garden’s west wall. He’d added the cushion but otherwise had left the seasoned patina alone. Time had turned the iron bench a gunmetal gray. Flickers of the last shiny black paint job winked at him from where he rested his arm. The matching iron side table had also come with the property. His addition to the garden’s feast of color was a round, sunny yellow patio table that let him eat more comfortably than he could sitting on the bench. He’d placed that on the east side of the garden, where the sun hit in the mornings. As long as the weather stayed warm he would breakfast with the flowers.

In the afternoon the sun swathed this side of the garden. He flicked his arm up and ran the back of his hand against the baked warmth of the bricks behind him. Sipping his coffee, he relaxed and worked through the story he was writing, allowing the characters he’d been creating to talk to him. Personalities, quirks, the thousand little things that made up a life. His protagonist, Keith, lived alone. Jared had decided that his lead character this time would be a solitary soul. Not needing anyone. More than that. He’d stopped wanting anyone. Wasn’t worth it.

* * *

The second time it happened Jared was on the phone.

“You okay?” Misha asked when Jared’s silence lasted too long.

“I … huh? Sorry, didn’t hear you. I thought—“

“Thought what?”

Jared turned away from the open kitchen doorway. It was hardly ever shut when the sun was shining. Again he’d seen a deep shadow wink over the rose bushes.

Misha had been asking about his writing. “Yeah. It’s going well.”

“Officially _Untitled_?”

Jared chuckled. He wasn’t much for working titles and so he and Misha called whatever Jared was working on ‘Untitled’ until the end. Honestly, Misha had come up with the titles of his last two novels. Wasn’t a strength of Jared’s. “Yeah. Got the first chapter done.”

“Ready to share?”

“No, not just yet. Soon though. Gonna be a little different. More character-driven than action this time. Think Scribner’ll have a cow?”

Misha paused to think. “Nah. They trust you. Well, they trust me.” He giggled, slightly high-pitched and cackling. “I’ll get them to agree.”

“Right.”

“Jay? Just … have _something_ happen to your hero. Okay?”

Jared frowned. “I was going to write three hundred pages of him sitting and pondering the meaning of life.”

“Forty-two,” Misha quipped without missing a beat.

Jared couldn’t help but laugh at his friend and editor. “You just ruined the suspense.”

Misha giggled again. “No one else will guess. Oh, remember, drinks tonight.”

There went the smile. Not that he didn’t want to see Misha. Just … since Justin he didn’t feel … “You know, I’m on a roll. Maybe not—“

“Not hearing it. See you at eight.”

The silence was quick and definitive.

It was hopeless to argue when Misha’s mind was made up. And Misha had decided that Jared had been spending too much time at home hiding in the garden. Misha didn’t appreciate it like Jared did. He glanced out again and walked to the doorway. Sometimes all it took was standing on the top step and breathing in the scent of the roses and he felt ... calmer. Just the other day he’d been having a beer with his buddy Brian in the kitchen and gotten distracted by the subtle shimmying of the rosebush leaves. He’d been _somewhere else_ so long that Brian asked Jared what he was waiting for.

Brian’s words stunned. Not because they were odd. Because they’d felt true.

* * *

The aroma of wings and nachos and potato skins, all gooey and cheesy and super rich, hit Jared immediately.

“Gimme,” he uttered, grabbing a dripping chip.

“Hello to you, too,” Genevieve laughed, sliding over along the bench to allow Jared to sit.

It was impossible to answer without slobbering sour cream all over his chin so Jared nodded. Richard waved to their waitress so Jared could order a drink and the evening swiftly devolved into jokes, beer and, for Jared, non-stop nibbling.

It had been a while since Jared had allowed himself a night out with his friends. His agent, Richard, was naturally funny and boisterous, filled with southern charm and tall tales. Genevieve used to work for Misha as an assistant editor but had been promoted to editor and now managed her own titles. She was always included in their outings. Rounding out the group was Brian, one of Jared’s oldest friends, and a struggling musician. Jared adored his music and knew it was only a matter of time before his friend caught a break.

Misha met his eyes. “It’s good to see you out.”

“C’mon, Mish. I haven’t been that much of a recluse. Just needed some time to let the story stew. You know how it is.”

“I saw Justin,” Genevieve volunteered, leaning into Jared slightly.

Jared swallowed and allowed himself a moment before turning toward her. “Yeah?”

“He’s okay, Jay. A little bitter. But you really can’t blame him.”

He and Justin had dated for two years. And for Justin it was serious. So much so that the other man had proposed.

“You said yourself, Gen. Woulda been worse if I’d have gone along when … “

“You can’t marry someone if it’s not … “ her voice trailed off. “But Jared, you loved him, didn’t you?”

He nodded at his friend because he knew that if sides were to be taken, most could have rightly taken Justin’s. Luckily his friends weren’t like that. This was an old conversation. “I did. It’s just … it wasn’t … “ Dammit, maybe there was no such thing as what he was looking for. That was the argument. Justin and he had seemed perfect. Both writers, with so much in common it was scary. There was nothing wrong with his relationship with Justin. No excuse he could offer his lover as Justin’s heartbroken eyes asked _why_?

Gen’s face split into a smile as she was diverted by a joke coming from the other side of the table. “Richard … you’re gonna make me choke.”

Richard laughed and finished his slightly off-color story, then switched the focus to Jared. “You gonna tell us somethin’ about your book, Jay?”

Jared met his agent’s soft green eyes. “Departure from my usual. It’s about a guy – Keith – that’s in a relationship with someone he never met.”

“Be kinda hard wouldn’t it? If they haven’t m—“

“They meet online.”

Gen touched his arm gently. “Aww. I hear lots of couples meeting up that way these days.” She turned her brown stare to Jared. “You ever try any of those online dating services?”

“What? No.” He paused. “You?”

Her coloring darkened slightly.

“Holy hell, you have!”

Misha smirked. “Wait … wasn’t that Disaster Number Five?”

Richard corrected, “No, Number Seven.”

Brian hadn’t known Genevieve as long and looked on with a slightly bemused face. For the longest time Jared hoped something would spark between them. But so far they only clicked as friends.

“Assholes,” she murmured. “It was Number Four.”

Jared thought back. “The dentist?”

Genevieve’s lips twisted. “Gynecologist.”

Fighting an involuntary shudder, which he excused completely, because … hello, gay man, Jared added, “Roger.”

“Robert!”

“So if you had such bad luck yourself with online stuff, why get all gooey at Jared’s story?” Brian asked softly.

She tilted her head up again. “You gotta believe, don’t you?”

Brian smiled but Jared wondered, believe in what, exactly?

* * *

_Keith considered himself a loner by choice. He wasn’t afflicted by a social neurosis which stopped him from interacting with others. He just didn’t see the need to socialize._

Tongue thrust between his lips, Jared flipped through the remainder of his character notes. Too much protesting on Keith’s part? Of course, there was no Keith, not really. Only Jared. He stopped to stand and stretch. This was harder than it used to be.

He used to work through his characters and plots with Justin. It helped to verbalize things. But it felt strange to talk to himself. Instinctively he headed toward the kitchen. He liked his odd, narrow home. Up front was an old fashioned parlor. First room you came into. The fireplace was in there and while Jared had yet to winter in this home, he was looking forward to cold Chicago nights before the fire.

The dining room admittedly was a little bare at the moment. Jared had yet to get any formal dining room furniture. Hadn’t needed it in his old condo where a small dining table sufficed. It had looked silly floating in the center of the wainscoted room, so he’d placed the round pine table in the kitchen’s breakfast nook instead. Near the door to the garden.

No surprise that he once again stood on the threshold looking out. The sun was high and everything was swathed in a rich, golden hue. The red of the brick turned to a brown sheen when the sun was at its zenith. The sugar-sweet scent of the roses tickled his nose. They really were magnificent shades. He slipped on the flip-flops he kept on the top step and walked to the closest bush. The blooms were a deep blue-purple. He remembered the silver-haired realtor had called them ’Ebb Tide’ roses. Her gray eyes had twinkled when she’d told him they represented enchantment.

He’d laughed then. Now, he didn’t. The garden had indeed enchanted him.

A cajoling voice from the other side of the lush growth made Jared stumble back. “Growing so beautiful, aren’t you?”

Jared gulped back his yelp and moved to find who had invaded his sanctuary.

Except there was nobody there.

Just a shadow on the gravel pathway, the outline of someone standing on the other side of the bush.

Someone not visible.

He looked up to see if something in the sky could be forming the shadow. The sky was freshwater lake clear.

He heard a snip and an errant branch floated to the ground. Then another. The shadow moved. The clipping noise persisted carefully all around the rose bush.

Pruning. Somebody _invisible_ was pruning his rose bush.

Jared’s heart leapt to his throat. There was no history of insanity in his family as far as he knew. Tentatively he called, “Hello?”

Nobody answered. A few moments later the shadow shimmered away and the clipping noise vanished. Jared picked up one of the scrapings from the ground. Felt the neatly cut edge. He studied the Ebb Tide bush. Looked better than it had in weeks.

A slightly hysterical laugh escaped his lips. He had a ghost gardener. Memories of a conversation with Brian floated by.

_“Jay – you’re gonna kill it in a month. What do you know about gardens? You better hire a landscaper.”_

_“No. I … I want to take care of it on my own. I’ll get books. And the realtor, Gail. She said she’d help. Well, not help exactly. She said I could call any time to get advice.”_

He punched buttons on his cell until Gail’s number appeared. But what could he ask her? If the house happened to come with a permanent gardener? You know, the kind that didn’t breathe? And vanished at will?

“Hello,” she answered in her sing-song way.

“Mrs. … I mean, Gail. Um. Hi. It’s Jared. Jared Padalecki. You sold me the house on South Blackstone?”

“Yes, dear, of course. How are you?”

Jared sat down on the back steps as his legs were no longer functioning as they should. “I … I’m fine. I just … wanted to ask you some questions. About the house.”

“Yes?”

“The garden, you know, it’s so beautiful. Who … did the former owners ... I mean, did they do it all by themselves?”

There was silence on the other end and Jared wondered for a second if the connection had dropped but then Gail continued. “Jensen loved that garden. It would have made him sad it left the family but you’re taking good care of it, right?”

“Jensen?”

“The former owner. He passed away last year. All of the children ended up out of state and the easiest path was to sell and split the proceeds. Donna, the eldest, was saddest about the property being sold. She was very close to her father. But I told her it was going to good hands. You do love the garden, don’t you?”

Jared didn’t even have to think to answer, “Yes.”

He thanked Gail and hung up, then held his breath as someone slowly shimmered into existence. Jared had expected a grandfatherly figure, but instead he was surprised to see a man in his twenties, with wide shoulders and short-cropped hair. The translucent features glimmered in the sun’s rays, like they were created by motes of dust and would spatter apart with a good breeze.

Jared watched silently from the top step as the man approached the baskets of geraniums that hung from irregularly placed hooks in the brick wall. The man reached down and a watering can appeared in his hand. Jared kept the watering cans in the small planting shed in the corner. He hadn’t left it out. Nonetheless, he watched as shimmery liquid poured into the thirsty basket.

Walking over slowly he approached the man. “Jensen?”

The man didn’t appear to hear him. Didn’t notice Jared at all. In the middle of watering the next-to-last basket the specter vanished again.

“Am I going nuts?” Jared asked the flowers. He poked his finger into the geranium pot and pulled it out incredulously.

It was moist.

* * *

Misha called when Jared sent him the first chapter, and sounded concerned.

“It’s just … Jared, folks are expecting a certain type of book, you know. Are you completely changing genres?”

Jared blinked and couldn’t really follow what Misha was talking about. “Different genre?” he asked back.

After a quick pause Misha, spit out fast. “Yeah, I mean, right now, it’s reading like a romance.”

A laugh escaped. _A romance?_ Jared was a big believer in writing what you know. Well, not completely. But enough of it. So romance? Not so much. “What in the world would make you think that?”

“I mean I get it. Others have done. King did it. So, yeah.”

“Misha. Stop it. I’m not writing a fucking romance novel.”

Jared heard pages turning. “Keith’s writing to this guy every night. He ‘feels the connection of another soul hidden behind the simple words.’”

Okay, read aloud it was rather hokey. But that’s only because Jared hadn’t shared the plot outline yet. It was more effective to get his editor’s reactions unspoiled. “There’s more to it. More to their connection.”

“I think you’re making my point, Jay.”

“No. Give it time. I told you this one will have a slower build. A little less action. But I’ll get there.”

Misha sighed. “You’d better. Do I need to call Richard?”

“No. Besides, he represents me, remember? He’d be on my side.”

“Not if you throw away a money-making formula to turn _Bridges of Madison County_ on us.”

It was hard not to laugh. “Relax. No lonely housewives, I promise. You’ll get your gore.”

“I better.” And with that Misha ended the call.

Jared looked at the phone a moment before slipping it back in his pocket. It was funny if you thought about it. Misha was worried about Jared drifting out of the horror genre when he was currently living a real life ghost story. His eyes returned to the pale figure trimming the ornamental grass along the edges. The specter’s shoulders stretched the material of the shirt he wore. It was hard to judge colors but it appeared white. The rolled-up sleeves displayed muscular forearms. His trousers were dark and sat higher on the waist than folks wore today, making his appearance reminiscent of something from fifty years ago. Still, nothing hid that high, rounded ass.

_Okay._

Now Jared was perving over a ghost.

Taking another slow swallow of the beer in his hand Jared closed his eyes to see if Jensen would vanish. But, nope, still there, trimming away.

In the two weeks since the first sighting Jared had gotten bold enough to get closer. Not too close. And he hadn’t tried to touch. But he had tried speaking to him. He’d convinced himself that this must be Jensen who’d owned the house. The other man never acknowledged Jared’s presence. Clearly Jensen couldn’t hear Jared. That didn’t stop Jared.

Putting his beer down on the patio table he stepped close enough to see the faint outline of whiskers on the other man’s translucent cheeks. It was more like glimmers of light than facial hair. Or like pixie dust. Jared frowned at himself. Maybe he should write a children’s book next.

“Could call it ‘The Ghost in the Garden’. What do you think, Jensen?”

Green snips floated away. Maybe that meant Jensen approved.

“You think I’m dragging it out too long? Should Keith learn Anton’s name? Can’t help thinking it’ll give too much away, too quick, you know? I just don’t know how many pages of reading two guys shoot the shit via a computer anyone’s gonna be able to read without something changing. I like the idea of keeping it subtle though. I want to try something … different with this one.”

Apparently done with his clipping, Jensen turned to the settee and sat. He leaned down and his hand was clearly petting something. A dog? A cat? Whatever it was, Jared couldn’t see it. The other man was still see-through and left no indentation on the cushion.

Jared sat next to him carefully. It was the closest he’d come. He wondered if he’d feel anything radiating from the ghost. Warmth? Electricity? A tingle? But only the soft breeze of the day touched his bare arms. Jared didn’t try to touch Jensen. He suspected there’d be nothing there if he did.

Jared studied the other man’s features as he continued to pet his invisible companion. Straight, thin nose, and eyes set a little too close together. Everything was washed out like a photo left in the sun and it was hard to tell his eye color. Perhaps a golden-brown? Strong chin and high cheekbones. Neat, short hair, side-combed. Jared wondered how long he’d been here – not just the ghost, but the man. The impression of comfortable and settled in suffused the image. He gave off a 1950s vibe, which made sense given Jared was likely looking at Jensen from his prime.

That gave Jared a good feeling. Did it mean we revert to our youth after we pass? Lose all our ailments, get to revisit a favorite place with all our vigor intact? Jensen continued to pet the unseen animal, which now seemed to be sitting on Jensen’s lap. Jared decided it was most likely a cat. Jensen’s long fingers stroked gently, a soft expression on his peaceful face.

The ghost never seemed lonely or sad. Or dissatisfied. Jared knew it wouldn’t take much to find out details about the real Jensen. But. He didn’t want to research. It made no sense, but he wanted Jensen to reveal things about himself on his own.

Even if Jensen never said a word to him.

* * *

_Never having been particularly comfortable in socializing, Keith was unaware of just how much his behavior had veered into the path of a recluse. He hadn’t even registered that Todd and Derrick hadn’t called him for three weeks, or how much he was surviving on take-out. There was the necessary evil of the daily stint in his cubicle, but his day didn’t start until he was settled in front of his computer screen._

_But he never felt lonely. Because he had Anton. Every night at exactly seven o’clock he’d log into the chat room and his life would truly begin. They’d talk for hours. Conversations meandering from sports to books to movie star gossip to political peeves. Keith had never met someone who understood him so perfectly. One night they debated the existence of god until the sun rose a rosy pink on the horizon._

Jared blinked.

His wrist ached from the marathon writing session and he blinked too-dry eyes as he watched the same subdued glow of dawn through his east-facing window. His office was in the second of the three upstairs bedrooms. He didn’t consider himself much of a decorator, but he’d tried with this room. In the past it had been his trusty laptop and whatever available surface he could find. But after buying this house he established a real office for writing. The laptop was networked with the new PC and so he could work on his novel either in this allocated space or take it to go when he felt like it.

His desk was large and allowed him to spread out the notes he printed, and he kept his notepad nearby for the times his thoughts raced even faster than his fingers over the keyboard. It was set up ergonomically, with a keyboard tray that pulled out at the right height. Being over six foot four, it was impossible to find ready-made office furniture that fit him, so he’d had the desk custom-made for his long legs, and spent a small fortune on the best quality chair he could find.

But even with all this, his wrist and forearms and his lower back ached. Too much time in one position. He stretched and strolled down the narrow hallway past the master bedroom. The ensuite master bathroom had been recently renovated as well. Gail had said the family did the upgrades to make the funny-shaped house more attractive to buyers. Jared couldn’t complain. That large shower was frequently the highlight of his day.

It beckoned now, but instead he walked to the small window at the end of the hall. It overlooked the garden. He couldn’t help the stab of disappointment that Jensen wasn’t there.

“Too early for you, buddy?” he asked out the window.

Nobody answered, not that Jared expected to hear anything. Nonetheless, Jared spoke again. “I’ll be down soon, yeah? Gotta shower. Gonna need a nap soon, though, or I’ll crash.”

A short time later, hair still wet and curling coolly against the back of Jared’s neck, he walked down the kitchen steps carrying his latest chapter and a mug of strong coffee.

Jared placed the manuscript pages on the patio table, weighted by the mug, and then quickly returned to his kitchen where the toast he’d popped in had just finished. He spread some butter and strawberry jam and took the plate outside to the table now bathed in sunlight. It was a cool morning and the sun’s warmth felt great on his still-sore forearms. He wondered if he should grab a hoodie to toss over his tee-shirt, but didn’t feel like moving.

He sipped the hot coffee and took a bite of his toast, jam leaking sweetly over his lips. Man, that tasted good. He wondered why dinner felt like it had been eons ago and then realized that, in fact, the last time he’d eaten was lunchtime yesterday. No wonder he was starving.

“I think I’m gonna need more than toast. Maybe eggs? Could make an omelet.” He pictured the contents of his refrigerator, hoped the cheese was still good.

A shadow caught his attention near the steps to the house and he looked up to see Jensen suddenly appear in front of the bottom step, smiling and holding a tall, thin mug. As Jensen brought it to his lips Jared heard a soft moan of appreciation. Jensen was dressed as usual, white button-down shirt, black pants. Only today, suspenders were holding up the dark trousers. He could swear he could smell Jensen’s coffee, though rationally he knew it was only his own wafting up at him.

Jensen settled on the settee and continued sipping slowly, murmuring a satisfied sigh between swallows.

“Morning, Jensen.”

The other man looked around and for a heart-stopping moment Jared wondered if he’d been heard. But then Jensen drew the cup back to his full lips. Oh yeah. Jared had noticed Jensen’s very full lips some time back and they’d featured prominently in a couple of not so appropriate fantasies. Poor bastard. Being objectified in death. Jared wanted to feel guilty. He just couldn’t though.

It’s not like he’d asked Jensen to haunt him.

Besides, all the gawking was one way. Jensen was unaware of Jared’s presence.

And Jared froze as the idea hit him.

Maybe he wasn’t seeing a ghost at all. At least not in the traditional way.

Maybe Jared was seeing the past.

A time when Jensen was very much alive.

* * *

Brian’s eyebrows rose up comically. “You see dead people?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “No. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I thought that at first, but now I think it’s a time portal or something.”

A beat of awkward silence followed. “I think it’s the book. You always get a little, well, creepy, when working out one of your horror stories. And you said yourself that Keith was a disturbed man.”

“No I didn’t! When did I say that? I said he had stuff that weighed him down. And it’ll come out later. Not going to spoil you. So quit trying to find out in advance.”

Brian smirked. This was an old game. His friend always tried to get plot secrets out of Jared in advance. But Jared was resilient. Besides, this had nothing to do with his book.

Maybe it had been a mistake to share what was going on. Maybe speaking about it to another person would cancel the spell, or close the portal, or something. Jared looked around the yard. Jensen wasn’t there. Didn’t mean anything. He’d never appeared when others were around.

A tiny part of him worried over this. Could mean the obvious. That it was all only in Jared’s mind. Except. He didn’t feel like that was true. Jensen was real. Gail said so. And he’d lived here. So either Jared was seeing an echo or … he was looking through a door.

“Maybe it’s like that movie.”

Jared looked up. “What?”

Brian met his eyes, hand rubbing over his beard in that way he did when he was trying to remember something. “With Superman.”

“What?” Jared repeated.

He was met with a small smile. “Not Superman playing Superman. The movie by that author you love. Matheson?”

“Richard Matheson? _I am Legend, What Dreams May Come_?”

“Yes. You know, _Somewhere_ —“

“ … _In Time_.” Jared finished the name along with his friend, his eyes opening wide. Brian had a point. Well, sort of. He didn’t remember the protagonist in that story seeing the girl in the past until he was able to travel there. He blinked. “Brian? Are you suggesting I travel back in time?”

Brian balked. “Hey, man. You’re the one that brought up seeing some dude who lived here in the fifties.” He laughed. “Maybe it’ll be like _Back to the Future_ and Chicago will be all innocent with gals wearing poodle skirts and dudes driving muscle cars.”

This time Jared laughed. But then his eyes softened. Imagine if he could somehow really meet Jensen?

* * *

“It’s just that Keith doesn’t understand relationships. He’s biased by what he saw with his mother and his stepdad.”

Jared watched Jensen carefully trim the rose bushes again. The garden was flourishing and Jared had hardly done a thing. The free gardening was really cool. But having a sounding board every day was even better. “You think I’m having trouble with this part because really it’s me that doesn’t understand relationships?”

A few more branches fell to the ground. Jared picked up the rake and quietly cleaned up behind Jensen. The other man looked down briefly but then continued with his shears, eyeing the bush esthetically. “The thing is, with Justin … I just … I mean, he’d say he loved me all the time. And eventually I had to say it back, didn’t I?”

Jared paced away a few steps, running his hand through his shaggy hair. “You must have known love, right, Jensen? I mean, you got married and had kids and eventually they sold this house to me? Did you really love her? Maybe you were gay? Could have been, right? In those days it’s not like it was easy being out. Hell, still not. But god, it would have been so hard then.”

For a second he was faced with puzzled brown eyes. Then a smile lit up Jensen’s face in a flash of golden light. Jensen’s eyes locked with someone’s. Someone not Jared. Jensen took a step forward and vanished.

Jared kept talking. “Who’d you see? Who do you look at like that?” His voice was barely a croak and his vision blurred.

“Shit.” He swiped his eyes. “This is why I can’t write this part. ‘M as fucked up as Keith. We both want ghosts.”

* * *

“It’s what he does, you know, when he’s working out the plot. Even though he said this one was different, it’s starting to get to the dark shit. Always does. It’s what makes him great.”

Jared wondered how long it would take for his friends to realize he was standing beside them.

“But, Rich … I don’t know.” His agent shot his editor a look. “Dude … we can’t get him out of the house. Last time was here weeks ago.”

Jared followed Misha’s eyes track as Richard glanced sideways and saw Jared. Misha turned abruptly. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” But Jared smiled. “Miss me?” he asked drily.

But Misha wouldn’t joke. “As a matter of fact we did.”

Jared frowned. “C’mon guys I’ve been writing.” He took a seat next to Brian while avoiding the pale green stare Richard gave him from across the booth. Brian smiled weakly at him. Jared knew that Brian hadn’t shared anything about Jared seeing ghosts because they were tight enough for that kind of trust to be implicit. But Jared saw the lingering worry in Brian’s intense eyes.

Jared realized someone was missing. “Where’s Gen?”

That brought a smile to Misha’s eyes. “A date.”

Richard chirped in, “With another doctor.”

They shared a look. Doctors could be jerks. It was like a universal truth. Maybe it balanced the life-saving or whatever. Of course, anyone could turn out to be a jerk. And frankly, if there was jerk potential in any field, well, Gen had a way of sniffing the guy out. “What kind of doctor?”

“General medicine.”

“So he treats colds?”

“Pretty much.”

Jared contemplated. “Sounds safe enough.”

Misha changed the subject. “How’s chapter eleven coming?”

“It’s getting there. Working out some things. Did you like the flashback?”

Richard answered instead. “I made the mistake of reading it at night. You know you’re supposed to warn me, right?”

Jared turned on Misha. “Who said you could share with him?”

“He’s your agent.”

“He hates horror.”

Richard complained, “I don’t hate it. Just scares me.”

Brian cracked up. “Publishing is weird, man. Glad I’m a musician.” He paused and then turned quietly to Jared, leaning in so their conversation was private. “Um. About the other thing. Still going on?”

Jared nodded. Brian met his eyes again, more curious than anything. “What do you think it means?”

There was a reason he and Brian clicked all those years ago. Warmth filled Jared as he picked up his beer and took a swallow. “I don’t know Bri. Nothing, I guess.”

* * *

_Keith’s finger’s twitched over the keyboard as he read what Anton had typed._

_“Figuring out you’re gay when you’re a teenager can be pretty scary.”_

_“I never told you that.”_

_“Sure you did. Months ago.”_

_But Keith knew he hadn’t. It had been twenty years since that day in the park. The boy he’d never forget. A shiver ran up his spine. Tony. He hadn’t even allowed himself to think the name in years._

_He typed frantically. “I absolutely never told you that. Why would you say that?”_

_Keith waited. After a long pause the screen flickered. “Okay. I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, K. I just thought that’s what happened. It’s no biggie. Not like life or death.”_

_For the first time in eight months Keith ended the chat without saying goodbye._

“So, Jensen, what do you think? Keith’s shitting his pants about now. I figure that is the moment he starts suspecting. I could stretch it out a little more. But I already set up the initial flashback with Keith’s stepfather. I think the foreshadowing there might be enough that anyone reading would start putting it together just about now anyway. So, yeah, Keith thinks he knows who Anton is, even though it’s impossible. Makes the ending really good, dontcha think? Gonna scare the crap out ‘em.”

Jared felt a leaf land on his hair and shook it out. Looking up from the pages he’d been reading, he didn’t immediately see Jensen. Then he spotted him on the settee holding a book. This was new. He sauntered over. “Whatcha reading, buddy?”

He squatted in front of Jensen and instinctively tried to push the book up so he could make out the title, but his hand passed right through it. It felt like absolutely nothing. He’d discovered weeks ago, when he’d finally gotten brave enough to try to touch Jensen outright, that he’d feel nothing but air. The only thing he hadn’t done is get in the way of the shears. They were apparently breaking through the time barrier enough to impact the rose bushes. And he valued his fingers enough not to test that theory too closely.

Instead he squatted down lower and tilted his head until he could make out the title. His heart lurched. _I am Legend_. Jensen was reading Richard Matheson. One of Jared’s favorite authors. And the man that wrote about the possibility of time travel without the help of any fancy machines. His method was sheer will. The power of the mind. In the book _Bid Time Return_ the hero was able to go back in time by hypnotizing himself into believing it was the year he wanted it to be.

And it worked. He met the love of his life.

Of course, it didn’t work forever. The only happily ever after the couple had was in heaven.

Jared wasn’t sure he believed in heaven.

Dissatisfaction gnawed at him. Like an ever present tapeworm eating at his insides. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what his life was supposed to be. Jensen sighed silently and lifted his eyes from the book up to the sky. He shut them and absorbed the sun’s rays. It was cloudy in the garden that afternoon. Clearly it wasn’t where … when … Jensen was.

 _When do I get to meet you?_ Jared asked himself for the millionth time. _How do I get to meet you?_

His heart felt heavy, like there was a physical weight holding him down. “We need to meet.”

Jared pulled out his cell and dialed Brian’s number. “Hey … what do you know about self-hypnosis?”

# Part 2

Jared reread _Bid Time Return_ and watched the movie _Somewhere in Time_ that was based on it. The concept was low tech and simple. You dress for the time you want to be in. You carry only things from that time. And you mentally convince yourself you are, in fact, there. Or rather then. Or something.

And then Jensen would look at him.

It was amazing how much he wanted that.

He walked out into the garden holding the Matheson book. “Did you read this one, too, Jen?”

Jensen sat in the same spot reading again. Only this time he wasn’t holding a book, but a newspaper. Jared’s heart pounded. That meant he could get the exact date.

He scurried over and read over Jensen’s shoulder. Holy smokes, _The Hyde Park Herald_. August 14, 1957.

It felt momentous.

It was impossible to read the tiny print of the regular articles because, like Jensen, the paper was translucent and indistinct. Like looking through a soft gauze. The headlines could be discerned, though. Jensen turned the page suddenly and the newspaper passed through Jared’s nose. He wanted so much to have felt it but if he hadn’t seen Jensen’s hand move he wouldn’t have realized it had happened.

The words were easier to make out on this page as they were ads with bolder black print.

“You looking for new tires, Jen?” he asked. “Hey, check it out … $16.40 per tire. Hah. Cost you four times that today.” Jensen turned the page and grocery ads came up. Fifty-nine cents for a turkey? Four cents a pound for watermelon? Guess those were the days.”

He stood up and held his lower back. Been crouching too long. A sudden knock made him jump. His eyes flew to Jensen but Jensen was gone. Jared approached the back gate.

The man standing there startled him.

“Justin. What? Why are you--?”

They hadn’t seen each other in months. Not since Jared had turned down the marriage proposal. Justin’s parting shot of ‘You don’t know what love means’ lingered long past the slammed door.

“I tried the front bell but nobody answered.”

Jared unlocked the gate and let his ex-boyfriend inside. Justin looked around. “Wow. This is something. Just like they said.”

Suspicion rose. “They?”

Justin’s guilty look said it all. “Misha called—“

 _Dammit. Busybody_. “What he tell you?”

“That you’re holed up here.” Justin looked around again, his chest expanding as he inhaled the sweet floral scents. “Although … yeah. Why leave? It’s gorgeous here.”

That softened Jared. It’s not like he and Justin didn’t have similar tastes. Hell, they got along like hamburgers and buns. Jared just … fuck, he still didn’t know why it wasn’t enough. Didn’t know what enough was.

“C’mon in. I’ll give you a tour.”

Justin hesitated. “How’ve you been, Jay?”

Jared straightened up, pulled his shoulders square. “Fine. Really. Been writing a lot. And, um, working out here on my garden.”

A smile tilted Justin’s lips but his eyes looked sad and that’s when Jared realized that Justin hadn’t wanted to hear that. He’d probably thought Jared’s reclusiveness had to do with their breakup. That he missed Justin. Truth was he was missing something. His eyes automatically roamed the garden but Jensen wasn’t here.

He showed his ex into his new home. They walked the long length of the downstairs and stopped in the front parlor. Outside of the office and kitchen this was Jared’s favorite room. It was cozy and quaint. He purposely had no television in here. There was one in the third upstairs bedroom that he’d turned into a media room-slash-guestroom. A second TV was in the kitchen. He liked to watch TV while eating dinner, so that worked.

He’d kept this room as a true old-fashioned parlor where one would entertain guests and, well, talk. Of course, he hardly had guests. Maybe that should change. Justin sat on Jared’s sofa. For a moment it made his heart long. Same sofa they’d had in their apartment. When they split their belongings Jared kept the sofa and arm chair and Justin took the electronics. Not that he had space for a 50 inch flat panel anymore within his small rooms.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked suddenly.

Jared flushed at Justin’s sudden perception. Although after two years Justin certainly knew Jared. He couldn’t lie. “Just seeing you sitting there … “

Justin’s eyes locked with his. “Yeah.” He swallowed. “I’ve missed you, Jay.”

“I’ve missed you, too. I know I said this before but … I’m sorry.”

It was impossible not to miss Justin. He was funny and sweet. They shared two years of their lives and lived together for half that time. Not to mention he was gorgeous. Tousled blond hair and chiseled cheekbones. Warm brown eyes that were almost … almost enough.

“I really thought we could … “ Justin trailed off, shifted his eyes toward the front window. “Never mind. Didn’t come here to rehash.” But then his eyes met Jared’s again. “Can’t make someone love you.”

“It’s not that I didn’t—“

“Jared, please. I know you did. And I do, too. Always will. Just wanted to know you were okay. And you are. Same, really. Haven’t met him yet, have you?”

For an insane moment Jared thought Justin was talking about Jensen. That he knew what was going on. “Who?”

“The guy you gave me up for?”

  
Sitting down himself Jared decided maybe it was time to man up. Do what Keith could never do. Tell the truth. “No.”

He watched Justin suck in air and his head nod minutely. Jared hadn’t admitted that before. Justin accused him of wanting someone else. Someone perfect who didn’t exist. And Jared denied it and said that wasn’t it. That he just wasn’t ready for marriage. It wasn’t a pretty fight.

For the first time a flicker of that anger returned to Justin’s hard gaze. “Could end up alone.”

“Then I’ll be alone.”

Justin pushed on his thighs and stood up. “I guess … I’m gonna go.” Jared hated seeing the pain back in his ex-boyfriend’s eyes. “Tell Misha not to call me, okay?”

“I will. I’m sorry he did. I am fine. And you will be, too.”

He walked Justin the few steps to his front door. Another thing he loved about the house. The deep dark mahogany front door with the stained glass inset.

“How do you know that? That I’ll be fine?” Justin’s voice was soft and small and honest.

Jared shook slightly. Justin wasn’t asking for pity. “Because I’ll always care about you. And you deserve someone who loves you back with all of himself.”

He drew Justin into a hug but kept it short. Neither was the type to cling. He whispered into Justin’s ear. “I’m not the only one that hasn’t met him yet.”

That drew a gentle chuckle out of Justin. “If anyone knew that the scariest horror writer this side of Koontz was such a sap they’d laugh till their guts split out of their bodies. Then they’d look like one of your victims.”

* * *

_Keith was sixteen when he’d first laid eyes on Tony. Lean and tall with spiky brown hair and huge eyes._

Jared twisted his lips. “Jen, I’m thinking of adding freckles.” He shook his head. “That’s crazy, right?”

“I didn’t think you were coming till tomorrow.”

The voice, muffled, like it was coming through a blanket, shocked the hell out of Jared. “Jensen?”

Only Jensen wasn’t talking to Jared. He was staring toward Jared’s open kitchen doorway. Nobody was there. Well, nobody was there now. Clearly in Jensen’s timeframe he’d been surprised by someone coming out that door. Jared gaped. He’d heard a snippet of Jensen’s voice before. Self-mutterings when tending the plants. Snatches of humming, mostly Elvis and Buddy Holly songs. This was different. Although not much clearer than Jensen’s physical form, Jared was hearing the other man’s conversation.

“I know, right?” Jensen turned around and his gaze passed by Jared, lingering an odd moment. He turned back to the invisible guest. “Yes. It takes some work but it’s worth it.” There was another long pause as Jensen listened. “The same. I’m so glad you could make it out. C’mon in the house and I’ll get you settled.”

Jared followed Jensen back inside but as always Jensen vanished at the threshold. Standing alone, staring into the kitchen Jared tried to imagine what it had looked like in Jensen’s time. Was is it filled with mustard yellow appliances and speckled Formica countertops? Gail had made a huge point about the kitchen’s recent renovation. All new black granite and stainless steel appliances. Jared liked it at the time and it had been a factor in selecting this house.

Truthfully, he was still glad for the work that the family had done. But he wondered if Jensen would appear to him indoors if it did look like it used to when Jensen had been living here. If he kept to Matheson’s theory, then the reason Jared was connecting to Jensen in the garden is because it was essentially unchanged.

He wondered about Jensen’s unexpected guest. Who was it? Man, woman? Family? Old friend? Jared didn’t think it had been a lover. Jensen hadn’t acted like that was the case. He wondered again why he didn’t just research the family. Google or the library. Surely he’d at least be able to come up with records that showed whether or not Jensen ever married. No wait, of course he had. His children had sold the house. Except they didn’t have to be Jensen’s children. They could have been his nieces and nephews.

His cell vibrated in his pocket distracting him away from Jensen’s potential family. It was a text from Brian.

_Got some books. Want me to bring them over?_

He typed back quickly.

_Sure. Whenever._

_C u soon._

Brian, best friend extraordinaire, was bringing over what he’d found on self-hypnosis. Jared was determined this was the best way to get answers. He was going to visit Jensen where _when_ he lived.

* * *

The hardest part of writing any book was when his character got hurt. Jared didn’t like it when he caused pain. And this one was gonna get real bloody before it was over. The villain was one of Jared’s most vicious creations. Pure unadulterated evil. Closest to the supernatural he’d gotten as an author. Because Jared couldn’t let himself believe that kind of depravity could exist within humanity.

“It’s not like Keith doesn’t suspect it’s a trap. I think that’s what going to make the readers cringe. They know it. And he knows it. But he has to _know_.”

Jensen looked up again, looking around. This was happening more lately. Jared didn’t know if Jensen was hearing him or not. He liked to think so. Clearly he was hearing something. And then he cocked his head in this adorable way and his brows scrunched. A second later he walked toward the open doorway and a tall glass with a light liquid appeared in his hand.

“Thanks. Really needed that.” Jensen swallowed down the liquid and Jared could only stare. It always jarred those few times he heard Jensen’s muffled voice. He’d give anything to hear it clear and loud. And directed at Jared.

“No, I was just reading.” Jensen continued his conversation with the invisible stranger. “Shopping, I think.” There was a laugh. Soft, like the echo of the sound rather than the real thing. “Yep, we’re going over at seven.” Another pause. Jensen sat on the settee and looked up. He went to sip his drink before realizing the glass was empty. His lips turned up in a smile.

“Hey, did you ever … “ Jensen’s voice trailed off. “Nah. You know what, never mind. It’s crazy.”

Jared imagined the other person doing what he was mentally doing himself, urging Jensen to continue. “It’s just lately. I don’t know, I feel like … you’re going to think I’m insane.” There was another chuckle. Jared suddenly got the impression this was a family member, maybe a sibling.

After placing the glass down carefully on the ground Jensen looked up again at his companion. “Okay.” He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “Sometimes I get the feeling I’m being watched.”

Jared’s heart tangoed in his chest. Jensen was sensing him! It appeared that the other person found the confession funny because Jensen’s face broke into a grin. “Screw you. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. “No, I don’t think it’s aliens. You’ve been going to too many stupid movies.” Jensen stood and picked the glass back up again. “I’m gonna go get some more. Parched. Too hot to stay out here any more. Can you hang a while?”

As Jensen trailed after his visitor on the steps Jared cried out, “Jensen!” as loud as he could.

But the other man didn’t halt or slow down. And as soon as he crossed into the house, he vanished.

Leaving Jared alone.

* * *

“Hi Jay. Did it work?”

Jared invited Brian inside, ignoring his friend’s question for the time being.

“Want a beer?” Jared asked instead.

“Sure.”

They settled on the sofa overlooking the front bay window. Jared had some custom cabinetry done to build a hinged window seat with storage inside. He’d just received the cushion he’d ordered to fit and it looked great. But all these changes, Jared realized sadly, were changing the character of the room enough that Jensen couldn’t appear. If the theory was right.

Finally it was time to address Brian’s initial query. “I tried it a few times. I think … I mean, I definitely got into that relaxed state. But from that to convincing myself I’m in the past. It’s a leap.” Jared brushed his hair back in frustration. He didn’t know if he could do it.

Brian nodded. His friend looked like he was gearing himself up to say something. “So I, um, called Genevieve.”

Jared smiled. “Yeah?”

“She’s going to come hear me play.”

“That’s great. I had a feeling about you two.”

“It’s nothing yet.”

“Yes, it is. Because she didn’t ask me to go with. That means she’s hoping to get together with you alone after the performance.”

“You think?”

“I know. The doctor went bust. I don’t think they made it past a second date.”

“Misha told me.”

Jared bit back a laugh. His editor was a first-class yenta. But Misha also loved Gen like a sister and it was nice to see that Misha also thought she and Brian could work.

“So did you get the clothes yet?” Brian took the conversation back to the time travel.

“Yeah. Not easy finding used clothes in my size. But I got a pair of Levis and a plaid button down. I can’t swear they were made before 1957 but the girl selling them said they were authentic.”

Brian looked pensive before he spoke again. “Jay, what if … I mean, say it works. Will you vanish? I … will we just _forget_ you?”

“I don’t know. I figured I’d just avoid anyone I know or will know. Stay away from my family.” He paused. “This is nuts, eh?”

“It’s a little nuts. Yeah.”

Eyeing his best friend Jared suddenly understood that Brian was just going along because he believed Jared needed it. It was the way Brian was. Friendship meant not questioning. It meant accepting. He loved his friend for that. But that didn’t mean Brian thought there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Jared was going to convince himself into the past. Except …

“I have to try, Bri. I have to … “ _Meet him_.

“You will,” Brian said although Jared never finished his sentence.

* * *

The day Jared decided to time travel was overcast and windy. Yet Jensen was puttering away in the garden and wearing a newsboy cap so Jared decided the weather must be nice where he was going.

He had convinced himself that it would work. Maybe he was falling into the mindset of the character in Matheson’s book and film. He thought back to his own character. To Keith. For a crazy second he felt guilty leaving him trapped in the hands of a madman. The book couldn’t come with Jared. Nothing created after 1957 could be on his person.

Of course, he could try to recreate his novel if this worked. Hey, he could predate Stephen King. Set modern horror ahead of itself. Except. He needed to stay low. His mission was to be invisible. Well, to everyone except Jensen. And that’s what this was all about. He had to meet the fuzzy figure that had captivated Jared’s heart. Had to know who the other man was. Why he kept appearing to Jared in the garden. Had to know what it all meant.

Like the character in _Somewhere in Time,_ Jared had made himself a looped recording to help him relax. The words repeated over and over that it was 1957. August 14, 1957. His voice was soft and calm in the recording. It played aloud from a speaker set up in his kitchen that could be heard outside.

He stood in his garden. Jensen wasn’t around. He’d removed the patio table and chairs he’d added. Nothing but the plants and original containers and furniture remained. Jared wore the period faded jeans and soft shirt. He wondered how many washes it had gone through over fifty odd years.

Slouching on the settee he let his shoulders relax. His voice wafted from inside, repeating the date in a cycle. He put his hands on his lap, palms up and practiced the deep breathing that put him in a hypnotic state.

Time passed slowly when he did this. Everything from his heartbeat to his brainwaves came to a crawl.

_It’s Wednesday, August 14, 1957. It’s 1957. Jensen is here. Working in the yard. Reading the Herald. It’s August 14, 1957. A Wednesday. The sun is bright and Jensen is here. 1957. Eisenhower is president. It’s 1957. Jensen is looking at ads for tires. Jensen is here._

Jared felt the sun through his languidness. Carefully he opened his eyes. The garden looked the same. He didn’t see Jensen. Sun motes danced in his vision in his semi-dream state. He squiggled his bare toes into the patch of grass beneath his feet. C’mon, Jen, come out to read your paper.

A shadow crossed his vision drawing his eyes up.

And the illusion shattered as the tail end of the modern jet plane winked out of sight.

He came out of the hypnotic state with a sharp gasp. Tears burned as the thoughts _fool_ and _idiot_ and _time travel isn’t possible_ were warring for attention.

Jensen didn’t exist. Jared needed to accept this and start living his life again.

Just then, as if to punctuate his thoughts, a car rumbled down the street blaring music. Modern rap. Pulsing and echoing, like the beating of his heart within his lonely chest.

* * *

_It had been twenty years, yet the pungent scent of the murky woods made those years vanish. Once more Keith approached the abandoned hunting cabin on shaky legs, just as he had then. The ground was spongy from the recent rain, and fat, black clouds promised more. Fitting. It had been raining then, too, pouring over him so that he didn’t know where the sky ended and his misery began. Sixteen and terrified of his stepdad, the sheriff, a man who could do anything to him even if Keith had done nothing wrong. Now? If the sheriff even suspected about Tony, Keith would be beaten to within an inch of his life, he was sure._

_The rain had washed the blood into the soil, absorbed like a dentist’s saliva ejector. A split second of petrified anger and the earth had swallowed up the only thing, the only person he gave a damn about._

_They’d kissed like their next breath could only come from each other, and then Tony had begged, “Leave with me.”_

_Keith can still feel the heat of that moment, as the illicit thrill of that first kiss transformed into anger. Anger at having to live in fear, at watching his mother’s denial, at the ease of those words from someone who didn’t_ know _. Who didn’t have to live with_ him _every day. His reactionary shove surprised Tony who stumbled back, lost his balance. Keith laughed at the graceless motions Tony made as he hit the ground. Keith’s anger receded like the clouds blowing away overhead. A minute later he reached his hand down to help Tony up._

_Only Tony didn’t move. He lay stone still, eyes shut and chest not moving as crimson blood oozed in lazy swirls beneath his skull._

_Keith had killed the only person who’d wanted to save him._

_And Keith had run, because if he’d still been around when the sheriff found the body, Keith’s life wouldn’t be worth squat._

_Except all these years later, Anton knew things he couldn’t possibly know. Keith struggled between impossible hope and gruesome memory. Could Tony really be alive?_

Misha ran his hands through his hair and turned to Jared, putting the page down slowly. He met Jared’s eyes. “It’s not Tony in the cabin.”

Jared let out a small smile. Since when had he ever written something expected?

Misha continued. “I thought the sheriff was dead.”

“He’s mostly dead.” Jared chuckled at his own joke. _Princess Bride_ references never grew old.

Only Misha didn’t laugh back. “I know you go dark. And readers, god bless them, eat it up. But … “ Jared watched Misha try to form his thoughts into a sentence. “Man, is this a depressing story.”

“You want happily ever after, go read a fairy tale.”

Misha stepped back, arms up defensively. “Whoa. Didn’t mean to insult. Just pointing it out. It’s just … this is more than dark, it’s bleak.”

“I’ve never had any happy endings. It’s the way life goes.”

It was true. Jared’s characters might survive their hideous ordeals but what would realistically come next is years of therapy at best. Suddenly he saw Justin in his mind as he looked the day he proposed and Jared turned him down. Bitterness coloring his lover’s eyes nearly black.

_You don’t know how to love._

Jared sighed as Misha continued to gaze at him. “I don’t know how else to end it,” he responded finally.

You can’t know what you are missing.

* * *

“So it didn’t work the first time. Try again, Jay.”

Jared knew Brian meant well. But hopeless was hopeless. He’d tried three times total. And each time left him cold and shivering and aching for something he couldn’t identify. Couldn’t really name. Just knew it was a hole he couldn’t fill.

“No, Bri, it’s ridiculous. There’s no such thing as time travel. And even if there were, it’s not going to happen by hypnosis. You can’t just believe yourself into something.”

Brian tucked his leg under himself on the iron seat. Jared had made some sun tea with mint, and the pitcher sat sweating on the side table.

“So … “ Brian began gently. “What now?”

Jared met his warm blue stare. “Now? Now I stop feeling sorry for myself. Acknowledge that there’s no such thing as the relationship I want and get back to finishing my book.”

Brian fidgeted. His friend took a long sip of the iced tea before carefully putting his glass down. “You could … re-think about Justin … “

Surprise colored Jared pink. “No. Never. God, didn’t I hurt him enough?”

“That’s not what I—“

“Look. It’s not that bad. I have my writing. I have my friends. I have this house.” _I have Jensen in this garden._

But Brian heard what Jared didn’t say out loud. “But he’s not … I mean, you can’t really interact with him, you know?”

“Maybe not. But he’s still here. And it feels like I’m not alone, you know?”

Brian nodded but his look remained cautious. “If you try again, let me know, okay? I don’t want you to just vanish one day.”

The seriousness of Brian’s expression couldn’t help but bring a smile to Jared’s face. The one thing he had in this time were his friends and that was no small thing.

* * *

Writing the climactic scene was intense for Jared. Keith was facing off with someone he thought long dead. And he wasn’t going to survive. Jared always wrote his scariest scenes when it was night, the darkness amplifying the intensity of his character’s situation. But after a long night of writing he felt too wound to nap. Instead he peered out into the dawn light. Might as well chill in the garden.

He took his usual seat, placing his steaming coffee mug beside him. The patio table was back so he could breakfast in the sun. No Jensen, but that was typical. The man usually came out when the sun was higher overhead. Jared wondered if Jensen didn’t need the sunbeams to exist since he seemed to float among them. All that was missing was a newspaper. But he’d brought out his laptop and skimmed news that way. It was quiet and traffic was just starting to pick up on the parallel busy street. He heard his next door neighbor’s alarm clock going off through an open bedroom window. A dog barked in the distance.

A few more sips of the soothing warmth, the caffeine not waking him but having the reverse effect. He shut the laptop and rested his hands in his lap, taking slow, deep breaths. One positive thing about the self-hypnosis that Jared had taught himself was that he could pretty much get into that meditative state at will now, and when his nerves felt frayed it was a good way to unwind. Jared eased his mind into that blurred state of total relaxation, dwelling in that moment before sleep overtook, where the world was gauzy and snuffled. Slightly trippy, his body sinking into itself like ice cream melting slowly in the sun.

A final deep suck of air and he opened his eyes slowly, letting his gaze swallow the explosion of colors from the blooms. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar shadow.

“Hi. Um … I hope you don’t mind if I--”

Jared jumped. The coffee went flying as his hip knocked the table, spilling all over his laptop and soaking the front of his pants and _holy shit_ … Jensen was looking right at him!

Mind clicking into gear he pulled the laptop out of the puddle even though he knew it was too late. The damage was done.

“Oh god … Oh, I am so sorry.”

Jared looked up sharply. Who was Jensen talking to? The sun was bright hot white and haloed around the other man until he glowed. Did it work? Was Jared back in time. But the laptop? Maybe it didn’t matter?

“When? How?” Jared knew he was babbling.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Jensen said quickly. “I just … this garden … “

Jared staggered because Jensen continued to look right at him as he spoke. “Can you … can you hear me?”

“Yeah?” Jensen’s voice tinged with hesitation. “Look. I’m really sorry about your … Maybe it could be fixed … although … it looks bad.”

“Jensen,” Jared stopped, unsure what to say next. He took a deep breath. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“You know my name?”

“Yes. Gail. The realtor who sold me the house. She told me.”

Jensen’s brows scrunched but then he nodded as if this made sense. He kept staring at Jared questioningly. After a moment Jared realized what the other man hadn’t asked.

“Oh. Right. You don’t know who I … My name’s Jared.”

“So you’re not angry that I came into the garden?”

“Angry? No, not at all. It’s your … well, I guess it’s mine now … but I feel … like it’ll always be yours, you know?”

Jensen didn’t reply, his face tilted slightly. “That’s … very nice of you.” He took a look around. “Wow. It’s the same.”

Jared laughed. “Well, it’s being well cared for.”

A smile tilted Jensen’s lips, which seemed even fuller than before. In fact … Jared took a step closer to his ghost. He blinked and then rubbed his eyes. Because Jensen was … solid. The transparency … the swirls of light that would pass through him, they weren’t there. Suddenly he could make out the other man’s face in startling detail. Huge green eyes that no longer looked too close together. And a straight nose that seemed … smaller. And a cleft on his chin when Jared hadn’t been able to detect one before.

The distant booming of a deep bass sounded in the distance from a passing car. The truth hit Jared like a hammer. It wasn’t that Jared had gone back in time. Jensen had travelled forward to him. Jared approached closer. He put a hand out slowly and extended a finger. Jensen followed his movements with cautious intensity. A quick poke into solid flesh and Jared leapt back, heart pounding.

“Oh. My. God.” Jared couldn’t catch his breath.

“Dude, you okay? Maybe you should sit. The sun’s real strong. I think maybe you need some water or something.”

A strong grip held his arm and led him to the settee. “Here … Just put your head between your legs … I’ll be right back.”

Jensen dashed into his kitchen. Jared wondered what he’d think of all the changes. He felt laughter bubble up. He was giggling when a tall glass of water was waved before his face.

“Here. Drink this. It’ll help. I remember when I spent too much time working out here, sometimes the sun would get to my head, too. Nan would insist I wear a cap but I didn’t always listen.”

The water was cool and soothing and Jared swallowed it in quick gulps. It didn’t help that he hadn’t slept. He wasn’t in the best state of mind to welcome his time traveler.

Eventually he found his voice again. “It must all look so different from when you last saw it.”

“No, not really. Garden’s the same.” Jensen’s face softened with emotion. “I’ve missed it. I knew they sold it.” His eyes locked with Jared’s and Jared felt his heart thump erratically like it had been charged. “But I can see how well you’ve been caring for it. Thank you for that.”

“Of course. You don’t have to thank me. I love this garden. It’s why I bought the house. It’s magical out here.”

“Enchanted.”

Jared started. “What? I mean, Gail … she said that.”

Jensen smiled and Jared took in his gleaming white teeth. God, the man was gorgeous. “I know. She’d say it all the time. Said it would—“

Curious, Jared urged, “What?”

“Always be with me.”

The way Jensen said it with a wistful smile gave the words warmth and a sense of belonging. Jared smiled. “She must have been young when you knew her.”

Jensen smiled back. “Gail is ageless.” He stood and took a final look around. “So, Jared … do you think it would be okay if I visit again sometime?”

Jared stood, too. “You think you’ll be able to come and go?”

“I moved back.”

Wow. Jensen moved back to the garden from … where … heaven? A hand reached out and Jared met Jensen’s outstretched palm with his own. The connection tingled and Jared felt the shiver deep in his bones. He held on longer than necessary but couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Thanks, Jared.”

“You … you’ll come back, right?”

Jensen pulled his hand away and smiled shyly at Jared.

And then the time-travelling ghost did the darndest thing. He walked to the back gate, which Jared just now noticed was slightly ajar, and stepped through it, meandering down the block on foot until he turned the corner and disappeared.

* * *

Jared plotted his novels carefully although he wasn’t so rigid that nothing could change. But his endings generally followed his original plan.

Keith was tied up and bleeding and coming to in the middle of his worst nightmare. Jared was working on the reveal of the stepfather and the despair Keith would feel that Tony wasn’t there. That he would never see his true love again.

The phone vibrating in his pocket interrupted Jared’s heavy heart. Damn. It’s like he didn’t want to write the ending.

“Hello?”

“Jared, it’s Gail.”

“Hey Gail. What’s up?”

“I understand you had a visitor?”

Jared blinked. “You … _know?”_

She laughed. “I keep in touch.”

Wow. Gail must be some sort of medium as well as a realtor. “He said he’d be back. Is it possible?”

“Oh, I don’t see why not. Well, if it’s all right with you, of course.”

“Yes. Absolutely. Please. If you, um, talk to him or communicate or whatever it’s called. Please tell him to come back any time. The garden is his.”

Jared heard another soft laugh. “That’s very sweet of you, dear. I’ll relay the sentiment.” She paused slightly. “I had a feeling about this. I told him, you know. Some endings can be beginnings.”

She hung up after that leaving Jared staring at his cell phone confused.

But upon returning to his story Jared’s hands started flying over the keyboard. Moving in a totally new direction. His fans may balk but this time. This time the surprise would be truly unexpected.

* * *

_“You … you’re here.”_

_“Stay with me, Keith. You’re gonna be okay. Ambulance is coming.”_

_“Am I dead?” He didn’t think it should hurt so much to be dead, but what did he know. Maybe he was in hell, and this was the start of his torment._

_A chuckle and a soft touch to his face from the ghost of the man he’d killed all those years ago. “No. I’m so sorry it went down like this. I was supposed to set the meeting place to trap him, and you should have been safe. I made the link several years ago. DNA proved it was him. The body you ID’d belonged to someone else. But he was a step ahead, covered his tracks every time. And I didn’t think.” Tony’s voice softened like butter. A hand cupped his cheek. “I didn’t think of what would happen if he figured it out and hijacked the chat server … “_

_Pain wracked Keith’s side as he tried to shift. He let out a grunt and swallowed it down. “You’re not dead.”_

_“No. He barely scratched me.” But then something in Tony’s eyes shifted, widened. “You don’t mean today, do you?”_

_Tears tracked through the blood on his face as Keith succumbed to the weight of his lifetime of guilt. He heard sirens closing in but had to get this out. “I’m so sorry. That day. You fell and I left you. Oh god … I’m so sorry.”_

_Confusion, then realization crossed Tony’s face. “You thought I was dead?”_

_“There was so much blood … and you didn’t wake up.”_

_The paramedics were approaching. Tony squeezed his hand. “Knocked me out, and head wounds bleed like a son of a bitch. I had a concussion. Needed a couple of stitches.” He stopped, wiped at the bloody tears on Keith’s face. “That wasn’t what hurt.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Keith whispered again. “I was stupid … and young … and didn’t know what to do.”_

_He was surprised when Tony climbed in the ambulance to sit with him. Through the haze of the medication Keith listened as Tony quietly explained that the FBI had used Keith as bait in a sting to catch a mass murderer._

_“The bastard was a step ahead. We knew he’d been hacking your conversations with me … with ‘Anton’ … because he’d always been tracking you, had some sort of hard-on to get to you. So we made it easy. But then … I’m sorry … he switched servers and was able to communicate with you without our knowledge, and everything got out of control. I did everything I knew to figure out where he lured you. Shit, I should have seen it coming. The sick fuck. It’s my fault. If you never want to see me again I understand. I’m so sorry. But you’ll be okay. Just hold on. Hold on, okay?”_

_Keith focused on the green eyes lasered on his. “We … both screwed up,” he got the words out over the pain. The strong meds were dragging him under but Keith fought to get out one final word. “Stay.”_

Stretching, Jared stood and sighed. This wasn’t the first character he ever let live. But it was the first that ended up with the potential for a real life. He smiled. It felt good.

From habit he wandered into the hallway and to the window overlooking the garden. A sound caught his attention and then a figure emerged from behind a bush. Jensen looked up just then as if he sensed someone was watching him. And he gave a little wave.

Jared raced downstairs, heart pounding. He stopped in the kitchen. Should he offer something? Could the ghost drink or eat now that he was solid? He knew Jensen liked coffee.

In the end he couldn’t wait and dashed out empty-handed.

“Hi! You came back.”

Jensen smiled at him, teeth gleaming in the sun. Jared walked closer and his breath caught again. Hot damn. If he had to be haunted, this was the best looking ghost in the history of ever. He knew he was staring but couldn’t help himself.

“You said it would be okay?”

“Yes, of course. Absolutely. Any time.” Jared fought to keep the excitement in his voice to somewhat normal proportions. He couldn’t stop looking at his ghost in the flesh. Eyes that he’d thought were brown back when Jensen was translucent were actually a deep green, speckled with gold. Absolutely mesmerizing.

“Oh … you have freckles.”

Jensen stared at him puzzled, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. He cocked his head. Jared knew he was running at the mouth in an absurd manner.

“It’s just that I hadn’t seen that before.”

“You never saw anyone with freckles before?”

“What? No. I mean, I didn’t realize you had them.”

He remembered suddenly thinking of adding freckles to Tony’s cheeks. Odd coincidence.

Jensen took a step back and spoke slowly. “Is that a problem?”

“Is what a problem?” Jared asked confused.

“My freckles?”

“No. They’re – definitely not a problem.”

A crooked grin appeared on Jensen’s face. “You must know you’re a little odd.”

Jared didn’t take offense. “I can understand how it would seem that way. But then again, this is a rather unusual situation. Many things must appear odd.”

Jensen studied him again. “It really is nice of you to let me visit.” He turned his gaze to the roses. “This one could use some pruning.”

Jared smiled. He headed to the small shed and came back with some gloves and pruning shears. “Have at it.”

The smile he got in return was huge. Jensen started moving slowly around the bush. His motions were familiar and warm. After a few moments Jared said, “I loved watching you work out here.”

Jensen stopped and looked up sharply. “Did you know about the garden before?”

“Yes. You didn’t see me. But I would watch you work. It was … “ Beautiful was the word Jared wanted to say but he couldn’t. In the end, he just trailed off.

“Dude, that’s … kinda creepy.” Jensen stopped snipping and looked pensive. “It’s the books, right? Gail told me you write horror novels. I haven’t read you but she’s going to lend me one.”

Jared blushed slightly. “Yeah. I’ve had a couple that have done well. They’re not … I mean if you’re used to really good writers like Matheson.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide again. “Richard Matheson? How’d you know I liked him? Gail tell you? Never mind. Yeah, he’s one of my favorites.”

“You read _Bid Time Return_?”

“Not my fave of his, but yeah. Read em all.”

“But wasn’t … I mean, I thought the book was why you moved back?”

Jensen was pensive. He rubbed his hand over his chin in his usual way. “You know, you have a point. I wanted to come home. And this … “ He spread his arms wide. “This is home like no place else. Spent a lot of time out here with Nan and Gramps.”

Huh. Jared hadn’t realized the house had been in Jensen’s family for so many generations. He told Jensen that.

“Oh. Yeah. My grandfather bought it.”

Wow. House was older than Jared realized.

Jensen returned to his pruning and Jared went inside and made them both coffee. When he brought it out Jensen accepted the mug happily. He sipped it in that long, sensuous way. Only now the sounds were clearer and the visual was immediately impacting him in places south of the border.

He sat and watched Jensen work. It was familiar yet different. The muscles in Jensen’s tee-shirt pulled tighter, almost as if he’d been working out more. And instead of the usual dark slacks he was wearing jeans that hugged in the right places. They seemed modern but then again it’s not like Levis have changed that much in the past fifty years.

A voice broke through. “Jay, you out back?”

Brian appeared at the top of the back steps. His eyes froze when he noticed Jensen. “Oh. Sorry … I didn’t realize you had company.”

Jared ran up to him and mumbled. “You can see him?”

Brian stared at him and nodded. Jared’s grin widened. “That’s Jensen.”

His friend paled. Jensen had noticed and walked over by then. He put his hand out. “Jensen Ackles.”

Brian shook it and looked puzzled at Jared. “Brian Buckley.”

“I’ll get out of your hair now,” Jensen said.

“Oh … no … you don’t have to leave on my account,” Brian said quickly.

“Nah. It’s time for me to go.”

“Maybe there are rules,” Jared mumbled to Brian.

Both Jared and Brian stared after Jensen as he walked out the back gate. Jared stood still just watching but Brian ran up to the gate.

“Dude,” he said turning back around. “Your ghost just got in a car and drove away.”

* * *

It was a full week before Jensen returned. Jared was prepared this time. He was going to ask questions. In the interim he’d completed his novel. It was with Misha now and he expected the other man to call any minute and rag on him about the unexpectedly sappy ending. But he didn’t regret it. Even if his love life was stuck in bizzaro world there was no reason Keith and Tony couldn’t reunite.

He was watering the geranium pots when the knock came. He chuckled at the notion of his ghost stopping to knock after all this time. “It’s open.”

Jensen smiled as he walked in cautiously.

“Is this a good time?”

“Yeah … I … finished writing my new book. Just waiting for my editor to call me.”

Jensen was carrying a plastic bag. “It’s a plant food. My gramps swore by it.”

Jared took it, set it down, faced Jensen with a determined look. “How does it work?”

“The food? You just—“

“No. I mean your visiting me.”

“I don’t—“

“You drive here? I mean, there are roads? Is it like metaphorical?”

Jensen tilted his head again. Jared wanted to stop thinking that puzzled gaze was adorable but there was no other word for it.

He continued rambling. “It’s just … I was wishing to meet—and then you just appeared and then I tried the self-hypnosis but I couldn’t come to you. It never worked. I just … how did you do it?”

“I told you, I moved here. About a month ago now. And Gail said she thought it would be okay. Look, Jay, really if you aren’t comfortable with my being here you just should have said so. I get it. It’s your house now.”

Jared was too busy soaking up how great that nickname sounded in Jensen’s husky voice. Boy, he could get used to that. Too bad the other man was dead.

He fought the sting of melancholy but it was hard. Running a hand through his hair he knew his voice was shaky but he couldn’t help it. “I guess … I knew I was waiting for someone. Just … I guess … I hoped … there’d be a chance, you know?”

Jensen licked his lips and Jared followed the motion hungrily. So much fuller in their solid form. “Jared … please forgive me if I’m wrong here. But … are you … hitting on me?”

“Crazy, right? I know. Not possible.”

Jensen looked Jared up and down. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

Jared gaped. “But … I mean … I didn’t think it was … especially as you keep having to go. How does that work? Is there a time limit or something? I mean, I get it, I do. You can’t help the rules, right?”

“Rules?”

“For the time travel.”

Taking two quick steps backward Jensen’s hand swept the back of his head. He turned around once and mumbled to himself. “I always pick the crazies. Do I have a sign on my forehead or something?”

“Well, yeah, it’s a crazy situation. But I already said that.”

Jensen turned around and faced him again. “You think I can time travel?”

“Well, yeah, in a way.” Oh shit. Maybe Jensen didn’t realize what year it was. “Jensen,” he began explaining. “It’s not 1957 anymore. It’s 2011.”

“Yeeah,” Jensen dragged the word out slowly. “Gorgeous, so, of course, certifiable.”

“What?” Jared asked at this most odd mumble.

“I guess this is what makes your books special. It’s just … I like you. I do. But I’ve had some not so good experiences with boyfriends who were, um, eccentric. So—“

“No, Jensen, really. It’s 2011. I can prove it.” He dashed to his new laptop sitting on the patio table. He popped open a news site. “See the date. Right there. And I know they didn’t have computers like this in your day. Hell, tires don’t cost fifteen bucks anymore either.”

“I believe you, Jared. I believe it’s 2011.” Jensen looked around. “Is your editor calling soon? Maybe we should tell him you need a vacation or a break or something.”

Jared sighed. It was good that Jensen believed him. “So you don’t really know how you come forward in time?”

Jensen looked at him. “No. I really don’t.”

Jared nodded. “I tried, too. Did everything Matheson said. The hypnosis part worked. But I was still here. I mean _now_. You know?”

“Uh-huh. What year did you want to visit?”

“1957, of course. I wanted to visit you.”

“Me?”

“Since the first time I saw you in this garden months ago.”

“I only moved back four weeks ago, Jay.”

Jared smiled. “I know that. You were translucent before. More of a real ghost. And you couldn’t see me. But you worked on the plants, humming old Elvis tunes and --

“Wait. What? You saw me in this garden humming Elvis?”

“Yep. Dozens of times. You pruned and trimmed and kept the garden perfect. I just … I watched and talked. Told you about the novel and my characters. Other stuff.” He colored, feeling embarrassed.

Jensen was looking around the garden now with huge eyes. His face was pale and the freckles stood out. Suddenly his eyes lasered into Jared’s. “Before you said we were impossible. Why are we impossible?”

Jared tried to find a nice way to say it. He feared maybe Jensen didn’t realize it. Same way he hadn’t realized it was the future till he’d told him earlier. “Because … Jensen, you’re dead.”

He wasn’t positive what to expect. But he hadn’t expected laughter. Jensen’s head tilted back and he let out a huge guffaw and continued to chuckle, loud and roaring . After a few moments of this confusing hysteria Jensen approached him. He grabbed Jared’s hand and held it to his chest. Jared felt the soft pounding like it was vibrating through his skin.

“Dude. I’m not dead.” He let go and Jared wanted to keep touching. Wanted to feel the throbbing warmth again. “But you need therapy. Years of it.”

The world spun on its axis. “Who … who are you?” Jared asked.

“Jensen Ackles, like I said. My family owned this house and I wanted to visit the garden because of all the fond memories I had of the place. Gail said you wouldn’t mind and that she’d told you all about my grandfather. I’m named after him.”

“You’re real.”

“You shouldn’t be quite so shocked over that fact.” Jensen tempered the snark with a soft grin.

“Oh god … I … “ Jared composed himself. Let himself look into bright green _alive_ eyes. A smile he couldn’t control curved his lips. He lifted his hand and held it out to Jensen, eyes capturing his. “It’s really nice to meet you, Jensen.”

Hesitantly and with a puzzled brow Jensen returned the handshake. Again Jared’s palm tingled at the contact. His smile widened. Jensen might think Jared was insane right now. And probably he was.

But he wasn’t letting go.

# Epilogue

“No. You can’t tell them. They’ll think I’m nuts.”

Jensen lifted one perfect eyebrow. Damn. How did he do that? “C’mon, Jay. It’s the funniest first meeting story in the history of forever.”

It had been a month. Summer was waning and the petals were falling and Jared had never been happier in his life. Except that now Jensen wanted to introduce him to his visiting parents and was planning on letting them know that Jared had been seeing Jensen’s grandfather and … no.

“Jen, you can’t. I mean, I was … “ He started coloring again. He’d been crushing on Jensen’s grandfather. How could he look Donna Ackles in the face if she knew he had pervy thoughts about her father?

Jensen had the audacity to laugh. “Everyone hit on Gramps back in the day. Nan said she had fight off other girls like flies. Said she snatched him up and never let go.”

Jared understood that. He’d snatched up Jensen and was absolutely never letting go. Jensen continued. “Old man was a hottie. A dreamboat in his day. An’ I look just like him. As you know.” Jared’s boyfriend did not suffer from any self-esteem issues.

“Yeah, you’re positively dreeeammmy,” Jared teased.

Jensen fake pouted, lips exaggerated into a duck pose. “You know you want it.”

It was beyond ridiculous. And really shouldn’t have been a turn on. But then again, it was Jensen. His merely breathing was a turn on. Jared wanted to grab him but was interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh my god. They’re here. Jensen, promise me … you can’t … “

His boyfriend winked at him and skipped toward the door. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

Before Jared could sweat further over this he was being introduced to an attractive, middle-aged couple. Donna had Jensen’s eyes, large and green. His nose he shared with his father. The boy had been lucky. Inherited the absolute most attractive qualities from both sides of the family. At least Jared felt justified in his heart-stopping reaction to Jensen’s features. He was truly beautiful.

“Jared. I’ve heard so much about you.” Donna took his hand warmly in both of hers. Her eyes moved around the parlor. “Oh … you’ve done wonders with the old place.” Jared watched her eyes glow like Jensen’s did when he first was invited fully inside. Like they were seeing two images at once superimposed over each other. Jared really understood that feeling.

Letting go she clapped excitedly. “A window seat! Alan, do you remember how many times I told Mom that this room was crying out for one? But she wouldn’t give up her plants.”

Jensen turned to him. “Remember I told you Nan had plants hanging from ceiling hooks?”

Jared nodded. He’d seen the hooks but decided on the window seat instead. He felt a pang of irrational guilt for having changed it. But Donna seemed to approve of his choice. Jensen came closer, arm wrapping around his lower shoulder. “It’s perfect. What I would have done.”

Donna’s voice rang out again. “Jared. Thank you so much for opening up your home to us like this.”

Alan spoke up, holding his hand out which Jared promptly shook. “Yes. It means the world to Donna to know it’s in good hands. Gail told us but … I think she needed to see it.” He leaned down and pecked his wife on the temple. It was sweet.

Jared quickly offered them a tour of the house and eventually they wound up at the entrance to the garden. Donna stepped down slowly, breathing in the sugar scent and gasping slightly. “But … it hasn’t … Oh my. Jared … it’s like my father himself took care of it.”

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand and whispered. “Don’t worry. I was teasing. I’m not going to say—“

But Jared just looked at Jensen, locking his gaze with the eyes of the man he always wanted but never knew existed. He mouthed, “I love you.”

Jensen looked back at him wide-eyed. They hadn’t said that aloud yet. Well, not outside of partial murmurs buried deep inside each other. The returning smile told him everything he needed to know.

“He did take care of the garden,” Jared blurted out. Next to him he felt Jensen tense up. “Every moment I spent out here I felt inspired by something beyond me. It was infused in every rose bloom. Every blade of curling grass. I would sit on the bench and breathe it in and imagine quieter times and tall glasses of lemonade.”

“I often brought my father lemonade.” Donna’s voice was whisper soft. Her light hair flew in the breeze and Jared knew now what Jensen had been looking at in the doorway. What brought the brilliance to his eyes. She held a hand to her mouth, eyes looking up moistly at Jared. “It’s like it’s still in the family.”

Jensen took Jared’s hand and gripped it tight. “That’s cause it is.”

Both parents’ eyes widened at the emotion thickening their son’s voice. “Son, I hadn’t realized you two were so serious,” Alan questioned. But his interest was curious and hopeful and Jared felt like he would float away if Jensen lessened his grip.

“He’s the one,” Jensen said enigmatically. But his folks seemed to get it if their matching grins said anything.

Donna took Alan’s hand and said they were heading inside to freshen up and that they’d be right back out with the lunch they’d picked up along the way. “We’ll eat out here. I think it’s still warm enough.”

Alone, Jensen pulled Jared down for a slow, deep kiss. Not that Jared was complaining but he was puzzled at what was bringing on this sudden emotion. He stared at Jensen curiously.

“I love you, too,” Jensen spoke softly against his chin. He pulled back slightly and met Jared’s adoring gaze. “You told me you felt like you were waiting. I didn’t … I mean I never thought I was doing that. I dated and sometimes it worked for a while. Other times it sucked. But that’s how it went, you know? But Nan … she always told me … and later Gail … that one day someone special would come. The one. I admit I thought it was just silly romantic drivel. Gramps would wink at me like he was in on the joke. But … now … I don’t know. Maybe he knew. Maybe he did see you.

“I never thought of it that way until just now when you told my folks about feeling him and they just … did you see how they just believed?”

Jared looked to see that Jensen’s parents were still inside before sneaking another kiss, tongue snaking in for a quick taste. “I’ve been waiting to meet you since 1957.”

He could feel the slight shake in Jensen’s reply. “But … that’s impossible. You weren’t even born then.”

On the other side of the garden a shadow passed over the rose bush, a strong hand brushing the petals in a last whispered touch. Jared watched the sunshine wink in the spot where it had been. A sparkling glint among the dappled stems.

Jared pulled Jensen toward him again, meeting his lips to his lovers. He didn’t want to say goodbye, not when saying hello felt so much better. But he couldn’t help but think _thanks_ as Jensen’s strong arms pulled him even closer.

****  
_fin_  


**Author's Note:**

> Beta: borgmama1of5


End file.
